It was Vilma and Betty, but not as they had ever seen them. They wore feather boas made from flamingo fossils and heels carved from obsidian. Vilma carried a whip made of brontosaurus tendon. Betty held a tray of wiggling green gelatin shots shaped like... well, like male anatomy.

"Cut!" she screamed.

A cheer erupted. On a makeshift throne made of a broken cart wheel sat Bambam. But this wasn't the little bald baby in a leopard onesie. This Bambam was a mountain of a man—a champion of the Bedrock Bodybuilding League, with biceps like granite boulders and a beard that could scratch a record. His bachelor party was legend before it even started.

Then came the . A dancer in a striped bikini entered riding an actual mechanical smilodon. It shot sparks from its eyes and dry-humped the stone pillar. Bambam was blindfolded and had to find a fossilized ring hidden in a bowl of mashed pterodactyl eggs. He found it. It was not the ring. It was a brontosaurus bean. He ate it anyway. "Protein!" he roared.

Maribel smiled, revealing a retainer made of diamond. "Surprise, mi amor. This wasn't your bachelor party."

She pointed at Pedro. "This is the audition for my new adult reality show: . You're the host, Pedro. Bambam... you're the stunt penis."