Geordie Shore Guide

RIGHT. WHO PUT A FIREWORK IN MY BEDROOM TOILET?

NATHAN (23) comes sliding down the banister. He is fully dressed in a glittery gold mankini. He looks alarmingly fresh.

I’M THAT MORTIFIED, LADS. I’VE GOT GLITTER IN PLACES GLITTER SHOULD NEVER BE. I’M LIKE A HUMAN FABERGE EGG. Geordie Shore

(Finally standing up, wobbling) THAT’S THE SPIRIT! GEORDIE SHORE, BABY! WE DON’T DO HANGOVERS. WE DO TOP-UPS.

pours vodka on her bacon sandwich and eats it. He is fully dressed in a glittery gold mankini

A framed photo of the lads. It has a slice of pizza crust balanced on the corner.

The Kitchen.

Morning, shaggers! I’ve just been for a dip in the North Sea. Absolutely Baltic. Me bits have retreated so far inside me, I think I’ve become a woman. Anyway, recap: Marnie got her lad out, Sophie cried in a bin, and I definitely snogged someone’s dad.