Amatuer Gay Blog -

Okay, don’t yell at me.

So I Tried a “Straight” Dating App Again (For Science. Bad Science.) amatuer gay blog

Then came the guy. Let’s call him Brad. Brad’s profile had six photos. Five were of his truck. One was of his dog. His bio: “Conservative. God first. Just seeing what’s out there.” Okay, don’t yell at me

I swiped left so hard I nearly cracked my screen protector. Let’s call him Brad

But here’s what I’m holding onto: For every Brad with a truck, and every Mark with a controller, there’s a guy out there who is also tired. Tired of the games. Tired of the scripts. A guy who just wants to hold hands at a farmer’s market and complain about the price of tomatoes.

Here’s the thing nobody tells you about being an amateur gay blogger: you have to fail publicly so other people feel less alone. So here is my failure.

Last Tuesday, at 11:47 PM, fueled by two glasses of cheap rosé and a deep, spiritual boredom, I did something stupid. I re-downloaded a “mainstream” dating app. You know, the one with the orange and white logo. The one where 90% of the profiles are either: a) A guy holding a fish. b) A guy whose bio just says “Fluent in sarcasm.” c) A guy who is “just looking for a gym bro.”