I made a picture of myself flying a jet-powered wagon attacking the school bus. Then I added a layer of fire. Then I changed my head to a tyrannosaur. Then the program crashed. I lost everything. This is the kind of tyranny that makes me want to move to Mars and start my own country. (Hobbes says: “You forgot to save, Calvin.”) I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO SAVE. IT SHOULD KNOW HOW AWESOME MY WORK IS.
Here’s a humorous, stylized “review” of Adobe CS 5.5 Master Collection , written as if Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes ) had to turn in a software review for school—complete with Hobbes’s interjections. Adobe Creative Suite 5.5 Master Collection Reviewer: Calvin (age 6, self-taught “multimedia tyrant”) Co-Reviewer: Hobbes (stuffed tiger, actual voice of reason) Calvin’s Review (as scrawled in crayon, then angry pencil): “This software is a TOTAL RIP-OFF. And also kind of awesome. But mostly a rip-off.” Adobe CS 5.5 Master Collection -Calvin and Hobbes-
MY DAD SAID THIS COSTS MORE THAN A USED CAR. I could have bought 14,000 boxes of Frosted Sugar Bombs with that money. Or a rocket ship. Or a lifetime supply of tuna for Hobbes. Instead, I get crashing, rendering, and anchor points. This is what adults call “value.” Hobbes’s Official Addendum: Calvin has been yelling at the monitor for 45 minutes. The software itself is powerful—truly remarkable for professional design, video, and web production. CS 5.5 was a mature, stable suite bridging the gap between CS5 and the Creative Cloud era. For someone with patience, training, and an attention span longer than a goldfish’s daydream, it’s a fantastic tool. I made a picture of myself flying a
Why does there need to be a “bridge” between my files? Can’t they just walk across themselves? This is bureaucracy, not creativity. Then the program crashed
So my dad installed this “professional creative suite” on the computer, probably because he thinks it will make me into a “well-adjusted, productive member of society.” HA. Joke’s on him.
